It’s been a while since I’ve bothered to look at VN’s CPanel, so when I saw this month’s stats I found them to be quite… interesting:

Wait… If Linux and Mac are third and forth then what’s the second unknown one? Wonder who’s been using the PSP…

Thanks to my Sony Digital Reader I’ve thrown myself into reading again. Over the course of the last two weeks I’ve managed to read and finish up the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead. Yesterday it was Shadow Kiss. One word: wow. I haven’t been this involved in a book in such a long time. In many ways I feel books are much better than movies. My mind is overactive and playing the story in my mind is just much more satisfying. Technically I was already a fan while finishing up her Georgina Kincaid series, although VA is a lot less ‘adult oriented’. Both series I enjoyed, mainly because of the various demons/monster-type of creatures in both sets of books.

One quote in specific stuck out to me in Shadow Kiss:

We try to do what’s right, or rather what others say is right. But sometimes, when that goes against who we are… you have to choose.

- Dimitri, Shadow Kiss

I see that reading takes the edge off of my problems. Some use drinking, others use drugs, I use books. Wow, I’m such a nerd.

Also, thanks to everyone who responded in the last entry. It was all very helpful and helped give me more of an insight into things.

Lately I’ve been feeling rather… down. Don’t know how to explain it right, but after gathering some research articles I’ve realized that either my chronic insomnia has finally kicked into high gear after all these years or I’m depressed.

I used to pride myself in never falling into the throes of extreme depression where suicidal thoughts came into place. Sure, I’d get depressed every now and then, but I tend to push it away after a while. As soon as I tinkered with something to distract me I’d let it go but then it’d come right back. So now I’m having a hard time figuring out whether I’m depressed or just extremely lacking self-motivation.

According to the many sites out there these are some of the symptoms of depression (bold denote my symptoms):

• Feeling extremely sad, anxious, irritable, or empty
• Feeling hopeless or worthless
• Thoughts of death or suicide, or attempting suicide
• Loss of enjoyment from things that were once pleasurable
• Lack of energy
• Increase of stress
• Changes in appetite that lead to changes in weight
• An increase or decrease in the need for sleep
• Difficulty concentrating, thinking, or making decisions

I know only a real doctor could diagnose what’s going on with me, but I have a ‘thing’ about taking medicine. Pumping anything into my system that isn’t in the form of food isn’t going to happen.

It’s almost certain everyone faces depression at one point or another, but how do they get over it without the need of pills? I’d really like to stay away from that scenario if possible. Something herbal or natural? I’d like to try alternative methods before jumping into things.

How does everyone deal with it?